I will admit it-I am a committed insomniac. This has been my struggle, my “thorn in the flesh,” for what seems like a very long time. My older sister tells me that even as an infant, I would hang over the edge of my crib for most of the night, staring her down, disturbing her rest. I’ve tried natural oils, sound machines, warm showers, reading, relaxing music, and even medication, but nothing works for an extended amount of time. Last night was a particularly rough one. I slept from around 11:00 pm until my eyes popped open at 1:05 am, and I was AWAKE! I surrendered to the fact that once again sleep had slid through my fingers and I was doomed to be ceiling-staring for quite a while. I pondered watching some TV, but forget that in the wee hours of the morning, unless you want to purchase some Ginzu knives or call a psychic, because that’s about all that is available. I spent much of the night quoting Scripture back to God, just in case He had forgotten “…for so he giveth his beloved sleep.” Did You promise me sleep and rest? So why am I awake? Am I not Your beloved? Are You unfaithful? Is Your Word unreliable? Since He is ALWAYS true, loving, and faithful, it was definately my point of view that needed adjusted.
God is always in control, always faithful, always good. But God is also always instructing, always leading us to total dependence on Him; His will is best for us, even when His ways are beyond our understanding; His grace is always our safety net, our strength, our sufficiency, our ability to stand in the face of whatever situation we find ourselves. And Christ does not only call on us to endure, but also to be glad and rejoice in our given lot. That is a tough assignment that cannot be accomplished in the flesh, but only through His strength. The apostle Paul begged God to remove an “infirmity” from his life, but God lovingly answered no. God knew in His infinite wisdom what was best for His servant. But God did remind Paul that the grace of God is sufficient to carry us through any trial, any rough road, any loss, ANYTHING. In our weaknesses, His power to carry us through is on full display for those around us to witness.
II Corinthians 12:9 And he said unto me, my grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Help me, Lord, to submit to Your will, even when I don’t understand. Allow Your power to strengthen and sustain me. Give me the strength to praise You through every situation that crosses my path. In Your hands, I am safe and secure.