I do not have much memory of my earthly dad, sadly only bits and pieces of shared moments remain. He lost a long and nasty battle with cancer early in his life, so our relationship was unfortunately cut short while I was still a young child. As a result, my memories of him are, at best, sparse. I am sad to think of the memories that could have been made and never were, the father-daughter relationship that was cut off far too soon.
One unpleasant recollection I do have involves a dog we had when I was just a small kiddo, and if memory recalls, he was a rather homely terrier mix. While I was playing with him in the back yard on a typically perfect, carefree day of youth, we got a little too rough and he scratched me, drawing blood. My fault completely, I teased him and was rewarded for my error in judgment. Instead of being honest with Daddy, I lied, weaving a well-thought-out story of deception. Hmmm, I tripped, and I fell and, I scratched myself on a jagged piece of glass; that sounded good to me. Dad would buy that tale, after all, I was the child well-known for my lack of coordination. Why the lie? The one thing that I do remember about my dad was that he was prone to anger, and this elaborate tale was a young girl’s effort to shield her puppy from her daddy’s wrath.
If I am honest, I must admit that anger can also be my besetting sin if I allow it to be. Not always the explosive anger that my dad exhibited, but often that subtle, smoldering anger that refuses to let go, somewhat like a pile of burning autumn leaves that never seems to burn off completely, just smolders, smokes, and stinks for days. Someone offends or hurts me, even if unintentionally, and there is no explosion, just an inner anger that brews and brews for days. The choice is mine; do I pass over the offense and forgive as Christ instructs, or do I dwell on that offense and let bitterness fester? My spirit knows to forgive, but sadly “the flesh is weak.” Too often, I make the wrong choice. Christ has forgiven so freely and calls on me to use my discretion, my freedom of choice, to do the same. As His child, indebted to Him for the price of my sin paid on His cross, my path should always be that of love, mercy, understanding, and forgiveness, just like my Heavenly Father.
Proverbs 19:11 The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.
Lord, anger is a reaction of my flesh that is uncontrollable apart from Your Holy Spirit. Help me to defer my anger and pass over offenses; help Your love to shine through me even when I am put in a situation that stirs my fleshly anger. Help me to mirror Your love and mercy when dealing with those around me.