If I could only be one of THOSE GIRLS, popular, pretty, and coordinated. Although only in elementary school, I was keenly aware of the school’s social ladder, and I knew that I could climb a few rungs of that ladder as a cheerleader. But there was one huge problem, for I was, and still am, a klutz in every sense of the word. On a positive note, I was an extremely determined klutz. Confidently I would work on those cartwheels every day, until Olympic teams were pursuing me with unabashed fervor, begging me to compete on their team (aka, childhood imagination running amok). My summer would be spent running down the grade in our spacious backyard, hands high above my head until they were firmly planted on the ground. Then I would toss my legs into the air in reckless abandonment. The result, usually a disaster.
One day in particular is seared into my memory, for any Olympic and cheerleading dreams were dashed on that fateful day. As I tossed those stubby legs into the air, I lost my balance and fell, landing in pain and humiliation, but mostly in anger. Then it happened, a young girl’s frustration poured out of her mouth and I said a bad word, not a horrible off-the-chart word, but bad enough that my mother would not have been pleased. Immediately guilt set in, as I scanned my surrounding to see if anyone, especially Mom, had heard my outburst. This little girl’s conscience had been seared with sin, for I knew immediately that I had crossed the boundary set for me by my loving mom. I never confessed to her, instead I hid my transgression, and for weeks my eyes could not meet hers. I would never attempt another cartwheel, and sixty years later, I have not forgotten. This little girl had experienced the fruits of hidden sin.
I may have been successful in keeping Mom in the dark, but that strategy will not be successful with my heavenly Father. Trying to hide sin from God is tantamount to trying to run from your own shadow, it can’t be done. We serve a God Who knows us, our “downsitting” and our “uprising” and “understands our thoughts from afar off.” Secret sin does not exist with an all-knowing Father, for it is exposed and bare in His sight: “Thou hast set our iniquities before thee, our secret sins in the light of thy countenance.” Unlike my cartwheel disaster, our hidden sins, those besetting sins that plague us all, will ultimately “find you out,”
Jesus paid the price for all of our sins-past, present, and future-with His precious blood shed at Calvary. My salvation is settled and secure, I can never lose that precious gift, but my growth and sanctification hinge on an open and clean relationship with my Father. As His children, we have the responsibility to “confess our sins,” resting on the promise that He will “forgive us…and…cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” He understands our flesh and our failings, and stands with open arms ready to forgive and to restore fellowship. I want to keep short accounts with my Father, not allowing any secret sin to hinder my relationship with Him. I should have done that years ago with my precious mom, allowing her to hold me, forgive me, and comfort me as only she could.
Jeremiah 16:17 For mine eyes are upon all their ways; they are not hid from my face…
Lord, I can’t hide from You, and I don’t want to hide, for in You is forgiveness, cleansing, and love. Help me to keep a clean slate with You, so that I can enjoy our fellowship and be a vessel readily available for Your use. Give me a tender conscience toward sin in my life.